That’s Not My Name

Time: early; Listening to: “Doing Too Much”- Paula DeAnda; Wanting: To watch the sunrise; Thinking: About ice cream; RAMBLING TIME……

How many times have you dated someone and get the feeling that they compare you to their ex? It’s just something that’s been on my mind the past few days. I’m currently S I N G L E and I know I’m a good catch and that when I’m with a man, he need not want for anything. But when you know a guy who was dating someone (for what seemed like forever) that appears to be the total opposite of you…I can’t help but wonder what he saw in her, what he sees in me & what she had that I don’t. [Lol, I know I keep switching between speaking in general to first person. I have a touch of ADD, bare with me.] Anyway, you can’t go out of your way to make him forget the ex, he has to do that on his own. So what do you do? Pretend like you’re good enough even though you’re obviously not because the bitch ex’s name keeps getting dragged into conversation? Ahhh, what’s wrong with me? I already know what to do…. Keep pretending it doesn’t bother you until it goes away or you become blissfully ignorant to anything related to her. If that doesn’t work for you, focus your energy on something else and force your feelings to fade.

This post doesn’t make much sense to me.. I just figured seeing the words somewhere else besides my head would help me understand them. No such luck. Tired of reading? Good, because I’m tired of writing.

♥-T

“Hold up..born in ‘88? How old is that?..Old enough.” – “Poke Her Face” Kid Cudi ft Kanye, Common

 

Finally!

Time: 2:46 AM; Listening to: A playlist made for some1 very special 2 me.. Currently “Everyone Nose (Rmx) ft CRS & Pusha T”; Reading: The Adventures of Spiderman ..check it out on my blogroll over that way >>> ; Feeling: Great..thinking about the person who invades my mind every day; buuut i AM upset that my computer won’t dowload this game i wanna play =(   _______

[i don't know why i just gave a sypnosis of my current state. hm.]   Finally going to sleep. Well, going to study until my eyes give in. Tomorrow (today) will be a day of accomplishment. I just have to figure out how. Feigning for Carvel ice cream. And very determined to get it.. Wednesday is Buy 1 Get 1 Free people. Oooh and Wednesdays means Real World. yay. The point of this post? who knows. who cares. I just felt like posting crap today. Sue me.

I added a “Pictures” page for anyone who cares. Just random stuff. It’ll be updated often.

Mo, i tried to follow you but Blogspot is different than WordPress and it won’t let me! But I check it daily so, same difference doll.

Good night all.

–God will never give you something somebody else is supposed to have.

 

Face the Facts

Written June 26, 2004. (Was a poem but…I’d rather type it like this)

I’ve realized that most of my life and time was being wasted. Wasted on people who are not worth my time. I’ve realized that all of my energy was being used up for nothing. I’ve realized that I need to put forth more into myself. I’m tired of people who use me, get my love & abuse me. I’ve realized that I’m worth something. I don’t need to be with anyone who doesn’t love me for who I am. I deserve more than a lousy phone call. Someone who won’t give their all doesn’t deserve me. I finally realized who I am. I finally took notice and I’m glad I faced the facts.

I am a better person than you. All because I WANT my dreams to come true. I’m tired of sitting around and waiting for you to get your shit straight. I’m sorry we can’t be together. I’m sorry I found a man who treats me better. You are so confusing. But I know I am too. I’m tired of you stressin me & putting me down. I’m sorry I lead you on but I need to let go. You do too. It’s gonna be hard but we’ll make it through. I found someone new. Get a grip. It’s time you faced the facts.

 

*I dont know. Just felt like posting it. Half of it is how I’m feeling now. I can only live for myself.

“Never be with someone who you love more than they love you” [i think thats how it goes =) ]    -Karimah’s grandmother

 

Alarm by Mesai

A short animated film that shows what most of us do in the morning. (I know I do!)

 

My Two Love Affairs

So. I’m sitting home watchin “Fade to Black” on Fuse. I REALLY need to get the DVD. No one has had a bigger influence in the rap game than these two men. I don’t care what anyone says.

Pharrell is…. a genius. Jay is the master. And when the two unite, you get heaven on Earth. Hm. I need to go to a concert. ASAP

Blueprint 3. September 11, 2009. Exactly 8 years after the Blueprint 1… [Note: Do NOT try to contact me on this day. You will definitely be disappointed!]

♥

 

ehh…who knows

More than halfway through another year. Getting back on the right track and LOVING it. I’ve realized that it makes no sense to waste time on the things that really don’t matter as much as I think they do. The best things in life take patience and I’m learning to just go with the flow and not rush a good thing. School’s good. Work’s…as good as it’s gonna get. Friends and family are amazing. So no complaints on my end.

Had an amazing week. Family came to visit. Enjoyed beating my brother in law in some Clue and spending time with them. Topped it off with an ♥amazing♥ weekend with my boos. I don’t know where I’d be without them. {Just wish my cousin was here!} AAAAND! I’ve come to terms with a lot of things. Including my feelings. For right now, they’re better off on the backburner. And I think I like it that way. Anyway, Happy belated 4th of July to the people who actually celebrate it!

Gonna go study some more && go to bed.

Sometimes, it takes somebody who treats you right to show you there’s something else out there — [i stole it from the chick from the Hills, Lo] =)

 

Where would I be without him?

Patiently waiting for the Blueprint 3… plus, my man Drake is supposed to feature on one of the tracks. lalalala.. life is good.

 

obsessed much?

So0o, even though my boo was reading off the phone [he does NOT freestyle, he has to write em down.. =) he's said it plenty of times], i still love him. This man. Is. Amazing. I do not understand how I used to go to Toronto all the time when I was younger and have NOT met him. Grr. lol, i’m buggin. I’m not sure what went on with him and Keshia Chante but one day [mark my words] one day, he and I will meet. Then I’ll be happy!
God, I need to go to sleep.
“Leave your two cents, I ain’t tryna leave you broke”
-Aubrey Drake Graham


♥

 

Is it bad that I’m tired of hearing about Michael Jackson via facebook and media websites? Some people actin like they knew him personally. I understand he was a music LEGEND but nigga, YOU didn’t live next door to the man or anything! =/ Sorry MJ! I’m just sayin. People actin like Farrah Fawcett didn’t die also! :smh:

Edit: jun 29th 09. Don’t think i’m being disrespectful to Michael. That was not my intention. I just feel that some people overdo it (kids that are like..12 and don’t really know much about Michael). Thats all. Oh. And props to BET for pulling the tribute together so quick.

 

Unrequited…emotions? love? infatuation?

Venting time!!
If you love something let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours.

Even though it may have been rushed, I KNOW my emotions like the back of my hand. If I can not stop thinking about someone, despite all their bull crap..something’s there. I feel like a drug addict..well, replace drug with him. I don’t understand why I feel this way because you’ve already made it somewhat clear. But I know that things could be wonderful if the opportunity just presented itself. [You guys may think I'm rambling but I don't care, I just need to get it out to anyone that's willing to listen] Playing the mushy love songs doesn’t work, neither does playing the hardcore ish because EVERYTHING seems to remind me of you. Sometimes I wish I could just stop thinking about you but it’s obvious I can’t. I can’t even say you’re playing with my head because you’re not. You’ve told me from the beginning how it was and I’m just too stubborn to accept it. I miss your lips and you holding my hand and just being able to look at you and know what you’re thinking. If I could rewind my life back to August, I would. I would’ve never let you and HER have your first date. And I would erase the silly, stupid mistakes I’ve made. Maybe then things would have been different. Maybe then I could sleep at night and not toss and turn wondering what may have been and resisting the urge to push your speed dial (yes, you’re on speed dial!). I hate you because of how I feel but love you for it at the same time. It only takes me a few days to know how I feel about someone and I knew from that one night that I would start to have feelings for you. And i know, without a shadow of a doubt that you have feelings for me too. So cut the crap. I’m bettering myself. But one element is missing. Eff rushing it and eff working on myself first. I’m fixed. I’m getting out of the situation I’m in and I wish I had someone there to lean on and tell me everything will be okay. Hm. I’m starting to not make sense so let me quit while I’m ahead. But just so you know sweetheart, my feelings aren’t going anywhere so get with the program.
I wish I never would’ve went to New York.

..if no one understands what/who I’m talking about then thats quite fine. that means that you should mind your business =)

 

Look at Ciara’s crooked boobs.

Tanielle: 1 Ciara: 0

YESSSS!!! My boobs may be small but at least they’re proportionate. Nobody knows what I’m talking about but ONE person. It’s all good..

 

by the way!

dont forget to read the 88 facts about me! might find out something you never knew..